What do you say to yourself in private?
When I wake up every morning, my first thoughts are negative: “you’re behind on your work…I hope this doesn’t go wrong…I could have done more yesterday…I went to bed too late…I should be on a run”.
When I try on new clothes in a shop, my first thoughts are of self-deprecation: “you need to work out…yikes you need the bigger size…that’s not flattering”.
When I’m about to try something new, my heart is filled with fear and I feel that rush of anxiety: “turn back Lisa, before it’s too late…this will never work…what made you think you’d be good at this?”.
Aged 30, I have spent a lifetime in competition and comparison. I think negatively because there is so much sadness and dispair in the world – people love a sob story, and they love the gossip. I am critical of my body because there is so much ‘body hating’ in magazines and adverts. I am scared to try new things because people will and do judge me.
That said: just because there are my first thoughts does not mean they are my final thoughts.
The world is changing. People like Les Brown, Louise Hay and Tony Robbins have shared countless strategies for thinking positively. People like Joe Wicks (the bodycoach) and countless foodies and yoga fans are telling us to love our bodies and fuel them in the right way. People like athletes, movie stars and entrepreneurs are telling us that the most successful people also experience the most failure.
There is a huge, and compelling movement away from negative self talk and fear based limitations to positivity, abundance and the idea of living life on your terms.
Standing on these people’s shoulders, with their strategies fresh in my mind, I now wake up every morning, witness the thoughts but choose to ignore them and drown them out with a rampage of positive affirmations and statements of gratitude.
When I try on new clothes, I ignore the voice in my head that says I don’t look good and I whisper out loud “I am willing to see things differently” and I focus on what I love about my body.
When I try new things I acknowledge the fear and then remind myself I once didn’t know how to talk, walk, build web sites, make sales or grow a business. I tell myself that all experts begin as novices and I crack on.
Change takes time. When trying to change our lives, we’re not just changing our habits and behaviours, we’re changing a lifetime of thoughts, values and ideas that cause us to demonstrate those behaviours.
Be patient with yourself, be kind to yourself and most importantly, keep reading, exploring and trialing new ways to change your life.
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