19 Dec Today, have courage
The word courage comes from the latin word ‘cor’, which means heart. Courage literally means ‘strength of heart’.
And I think that’s beautiful because it takes strength of heart to ask for what you want, to express yourself and to turn up how you want to turn up in the world.
When the whole world is telling you to be one way, to say this thing, to act that way it takes strength, courage and valour to stand up for what you believe and express your truth in the world.
So today, I wanted to share some ideas with you for building courage:
(1) Act on the little things.
No-one who ever changed their life or changed the world did it with one huge leap one day and then that was that. They did it in a thousand tiny steps. A thousand tiny decisions. A thousand tiny actions.
Every time you express yourself in micro ways you build courage.
For example, when you’re vegan and everyone wants to go to a steak house, it takes courage to say “Guys, I’ve found this fab place that serves meat annnnd vegan options, can we go there?!”
When everyone wants to watch one thing at the cinema and you want to watch another thing, it takes courage to say “Oooh, check out this film – fancy this one instead?”. Or, to go the next day by yourself because the film looks mint! (Me, every day haha.)
When everyone is being mean about another person, it takes courage to say “Alright, that’s enough now, I’m sure they have their own challenges to contend with…what’s everyone up to this weekend?”.
Act on the little things and watch how it helps you to refind your voice, to express your preferences and to get mor of what you truly desire.
(2) Speak up for yourself.
For years of my life I was very quiet about myself and what I wanted and needed. I think it goes back to a young life lived at boarding school. Boarding school has to cater for the many – it can’t cater for the few, the way a family can – and so you learn to blend in, to fit into the timetable, get on with it.
Therefore, when someone expressed their own need (especially in a relationship) I kept quiet. I didn’t think that their need was more important than mine, I just thought that my need wasn’t as important as everyone else’s. I learnt to ‘hold my tongue’, to ‘bite my lip’, to ‘keep quiet’ about how I felt because what did it matter?
Well it matters a great deal actually! We all have needs. Putting other people first is lovely and it’s important at times. But constantly putting other people first at the risk of your own happiness is no way to live.
In my relationship with Alice, it takes so much courage for to me to express my feelings and my needs and speak up for myself.
I have to say things like “I know you need this right now, but I need ‘this’ and my needs are important too”.
Find the courage to speak up for yourself. Your needs matter too.
(3) Test your ideas.
We all have things we believe in, things we want to say, things we want to build.
But we’re afraid to make them physical in case they don’t make sense, or we’re wrong, or people judge us.
Testing your ideas by bringing them to life is an important part of building courage.
No-one’s first book manuscript is perfect. In fact, it’s probably rubbish!
No-one’s first Facebook live is smooth. It’s awkward and jolty as!
No-one’s first attemp in business is successful. It’s more like stumbling in the dark.
But you can never reach good until you’re willing to experience mediocre haha. Write that first chapter. Build that first draft. Make that first video.
You’ve got so much to say and share in this world and it starts when you begin to test your ideas, as akward and bumbly as it feels.
(4) Be specific about what you fear
When I first wanted to share my story of being in debt I felt embarassed and ashamed. I didn’t want people to know. I didn’t want to be judged. So I was reluctant to share it, even though I knew my story would help people.
Then one day, about three years ago, I asked myself a very important question: ‘Specifically, what am I afraid of?’.
I realised I was afraid of the judgement of two or three people on Linked In; people I didn’t really care for. So, I disconnected with them online and posted a blog called ‘Why happiness cost me £70,000’. That small act of courage paved the way for me telling my truth online.
Be specific about your fears. Articulate them. And then find ways to remove, conquer or reduce those specific fears.
(5) Don’t compare yourself to people who are further ahead
If you’re going to write a post or make a video or build something, don’t compare yourself to someone who’s being doing it for years. Of course theirs will be better!! They’ve already stumbled and spluttered and drafted and redrafted.
Theirs is better because they’ve been at it longer. Remember – no-one’s first attempt is perfect. They’ve already paid the price of mediocre to now be half decent!
So, think about the people your message will help instead. Who’s still stuck in a situation you were in three months ago or three years ago? How much could your message help them?
Think about how you felt three months or three years ago and what impact a story like yours would have had on your life back then?
Don’t compare yourself to others…think instead about the people you’re going to serve.
Thank you for reading. I hope this inspires you to act in courage today.
Link to full video: https://daretogrow.co.uk/vl…/have-courage-my-friend-vlog-73/
Lisa x x