29 Jan [VLOG 075] HOW TO LET GO OF THE PAST AND BUILD YOUR NEW LIFE
How to let go of the past and build your new life
This vlog is for anyone feeling stuck in their life or current situation, like there is no hope and no way out. This vlog is for anyone who wants to let go of the past and build a new life.
I want to tell you that you can change your life and you can make it through your current situation. No matter how tough it seems right now.
The key is to let go of the old stories that hold you back: let go of the past and look forward to the vision of your new life.
So how do you let go of the past to build your new life? Here are four strategies that worked for me…
(1) To let go of the past, focus on how you want to feel now
When we feel down or trapped or stuck, we tend to focus on and expand those feelings. We focus on being in debt and how much money there is to pay. We focus on how flat we feel and how little energy we have. We focus on everything that’s going wrong and not on what’s going right.
What we focus on expands. Where focus goes, energy flows.
The key to letting go of the past is to stop focusing on it. Look, instead, to your future. Create a bold and compelling vision of your future. How do you want to feel? Who do you want to become? What do you want to be free to do?
It might sound mad right now to think of the future when you feel so caught up in your present troubles but the first step in building a new future is to first imagine it.
Be bold and take a moment now to outline what you want your future to look like. After all, we get what we expect in life and if we expect the painful past to continue it will. The only way to let go of the past is to give ourselves something new to focus: a beautiful new life.
I know this is hard. I had depression for six years and when I reflect back, I made it hard for myself to recover because I was always focusing on how down I felt, how hard it was to get out of bed and how much was going wrong in my life. One day, I dared to say out loud how I wanted to feel and what I wanted for my life and it gave me hope. That hope turned to wishes and those wishes turned to expectation.
(2) To let got of the past, take full responsibility for your present
Often we feel trapped because we focus on what we can’t control; on what we can’t change. When I was in debt (ahem, £100k of debt I might add), I was so angry! I was angry with the banks for lending me the money. I was angry with myself for spending it. I was angry with my education – because I didn’t learn about how to handle money! And that’s what I focused on: how rubbish my life was now because of those mistakes of the past…some of them weren’t even my fault, I convinced myself.
And then I read a line in a book – Success Principles – and it said ‘the second you identify a gap in your knowledge it’s now on you to do something about it’. In other words: there’s no point blaming anyone else for what you don’t know. As soon as you spot a gap in your knowledge, the only thing you can do is close that gap! I.e. do something about it. There’s no point blaming anyone else and there’s no point delaying…you’ve just got to get to work!
It was shocking to read but it was also a revelation!
In a weird way, I realised my awareness about ‘what I didn’t know’ was a blessing. At least then I could do something about it. I took full responsibility. I had gotten myself into debt and I could get myself out of debt! I bought books on how to get out of debt. I listened to pod casts on building wealth. I started modelling the behaviours of people who were ‘good’ with money. And guess what?! It took me three whole years of hard slog and tough cutbacks but I paid off £100k of debt. All because I took responsibility for what I didn’t know.
(3) To let go of the past, allow the small changes add up
Letting go of the past can be hard, I know. And the good news is you don’t have to make any massive changes in the beginning. Just take small steps every day and let them add up over time. For example, one of the smallest and most high impact changes I ever made was to focus on ‘gratitude’. Instead of lying in bed worrying and focusing on how rubbish things were, I would recall all the things I was grateful for. ‘Okay, I might not be able to afford new clothes’, I’d think, ‘but at least I’m in a warm bed tonight’. I’d stop listing what I didn’t have and started listing what I did had. I was even grateful for my imagination and all the books I had read in my life.
Gratitude is now part of my daily ritual and I use it every day to channel my thinking.
You don’t have to make any massive changes when trying to let go of the past. Small changes in focus, language and thought add up over time.
(4) To let go of the past – do something for someone else
When I think back, one of the biggest ways I was able to let go of the past and build my dream life was to do things for other people. Lots of people.
I launched a blog – this blog – teaching people what I was learning. I started coaching people on how to change your life. I put on events and invited people for free.
By getting ‘out of myself’ and trying to help others I channeled my energy and my learning. It made me want to step up so I could help more people who were struggling like I was and in time, this act of helping other people allowed me to help myself.
Three years ago I was depressed, overweight and in £100k of debt. I felt ‘trapped’ in my old life and it seemed there was no way out. But that was a story I was telling myself. Three years on and I live my vision: I’m with my dream gal, living by the beach in Tynemouth, making a living doing what I love.
This stuff works, if you do the work.
No it wasn’t easy to change my life but I guess I decided that the time passes whether you change or not. And so instead of losing another three years to depression, I decided to use that time different: to build my new life instead.
It’s possible but you’ve got to start with your vision: how do you want to feel? Who do you want to become? What would the perfect day look like? Then break down the vision into five major projects or steps. Complete the projects and your dream life will become your new reality.
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ABOUT ME **
My name’s Lisa and I’m a Transformational Coach, Speaker and Vlogger living in Tynemouth, Newcastle (North East). Having built two traditional six-figure businesses by the time I was 30, I knew that ‘success’ wasn’t what I wanted. What I wanted was to be happy. Very happy. And so I set about on a mission to uncover my purpose, get over depression and build my dream life. Now I show others how to do the same.
Also obsessed with dogs, vegan baking and marketing.
WHAT’S ON MY YOUTUBE CHANNEL? **
In my ‘daily vlogs’, I bring you behind the scenes as I change my life and build my dream business. Each day I show you a new technique for changing your life, making a living doing what you love or building your dream life.
Each Sunday I also share a Q&A Sunday, answering one of your specific questions. You can send me your questions to firstname.lastname@example.org
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