6 Things I Accepted To Find Happiness
Happiness is a journey. Here are six things I had to accept on my personal journey to happiness:
Destruction is part of the process
To make room for what you want, there comes a decisive moment when you have to finally let go of what you don’t – the job, the old belief, the security, the approval, their understanding. It’s not a bad thing. As you change internally, your external world must change to reflect that. Happiness can be found on that journey of alignment.
Healing your body can heal your mind
Trauma gets trapped in your body. Thoughts repeat on an endless cycle. The demands of the world leave us exhausted. Get up and move: Ice skate, dance, run, workout, walk the doggos. When you move your body, you release feel good chemicals that help boost your mood and inspire you to act, and you generally feel more confident, more capable, more powerful. Empowering, happy decisions are made in that energy.
You must be the director of your thoughts
So many of the thoughts you focus on aren’t even real! They’re fears of what could be…that never come to pass. They’re conditions you learnt on your journey that you don’t even realise you’re operating.
To be happy you must learn to focus your attention on what you do want, and the good that could happen, and put your thoughts in that direction. Affirmations. Mindfulness. Presence. Meditation. Journalling. Therapy. The more of this you can do, the more conscious you become, the more happiness can follow.
Set your rhythm or fall into theirs
When you’re walking beside someone you will either slow down to match their pace or they’ll speed up to match yours. Quite often, the good people slow down, they adapt, they take the edge off. Don’t do this if you want to be happy.
Learn to admit your preferences and find a way to live them. Pick where you want to live, decide how you want to spend your time, love who you choose. Don’t ask for permission. Don’t slow down to match their pace. They can speed up to match yours or stay where they are.
How people behave is a reflection of their issues
We’re all dealing with trauma and trying to break free from past conditioning. When someone laughs at your plans, shouts in anger, ices you out after a decision you make or dismisses your reality when you’re hurting, it’s not a reflection of you. It’s a reflection of their wounds, their unresolved pain.
Have compassionate for them on their journey, but do not dwell there. Nothing good can happen in that energy, can it? Instead, find ways to remove yourself from that situation, to support yourself in your ambitions, to give yourself permission to try. Take action that aligns to your future, not your past. Be an example of change, of healing, of happiness.
You have a purpose. Find it. Follow it.
There are so many jobs you could do. But there is also a job you’re here to do. Often it feels like something you’d ‘love to do if’ the circumstances were better. It can feel like a dream. Like a fantasy. But it can also feel like ‘a way of being’ in the world.
Living on purpose isn’t easier. It’s harder. Because it’s the truth. It requires trust, faith, vulnerability. Begin by asking ‘what would make me truly happy’ and find ways to move into that alignment. Happiness is found in the journey of re-alignment.
Ready to do this work for your own happiness?
This is a major theme of the live events I’m running in Manchester (20th Nov) and Newcastle (27th Nov). Come and define your new reality and find out who you need to become to hold that outcome in your life.
Visit daretogrow.co.uk/events for details.