03 Apr [VLOG 211] IS THERE ANYTHING I CAN HELP YOU WITH?
From birth, me and my brother moved homes, schools…and countries…every two years. England, Germany, Canada…we’re military kids born and raised.
This life was great. We met lots of new people, we learnt new languages and experienced new cultures.
But there was a sadness to this life too. I remember writing a letter to my best friend aged 8 to say goodbye. I was distraught, sat on the single bed of the spare bedroom in my nana’s two up two down council house. I watched in sadness as the tears fell on the paper and smudged the writing on my A5 goodbye. I never sent it.
I think that’s when it happened.
That’s when I decided it wasn’t a good idea to make friends.
That’s when I decided that relationships don’t last.
That’s when I decided it was me and my brother against the world.
I was 8.
And I carried this belief forward, living it out in bigger and bolder ways. Avoiding deep friendships when I went to boarding school, college and Uni.
Eventually, aged 21, I landed a job that required me to move cities every 8 months. Go figure! Patterns will prevail!
But patterns are also meant to be broken…
Last week in LA, I watched in wonder as @Jen Gottlieb stood up and shared the stories of her life and the people she’d met and helped along the way. She was a master connector, meeting, helping and connecting people ALL OVER THE WORLD!
Her philosophy challenged the core of my belief: It’s okay to make friends all over the world. It’s okay to reach out and connect with new people. It’s okay to get to know people on a deeper level.
Jen had a very special approach: Meet new people and do something to help right away. It’s a great way to make new friends aannndd build a powerful network of influential people who could help each other rise.
And I loved it!
At the end of her talk Jen said: “Okay, let’s each go around the room and make an ‘ask’ – let’s see if we can help each other move forward.”
I waited patiently for my turn.
I don’t get nervous speaking in public but this time, my palms were warm and my heart was beating quickly in my chest.
I was about to break a subconscious belief and change the pattern of a lifetime.
“I’d like to work with this type of client…”
“I’m looking for a VA…”
“I’d like to be on this podcast…”
The requests kept coming and my heart beat faster in my chest.
When it was my turn, I stood up, introduced myself and said:
“I’d like to make new friends, not just acquaintances…”
And I made my ask: “I find this hard to do because we travelled so much as kids. My ask is that you help me by dropping me a message when we’re all back and asking me what I’m up to.”
I asked other people to help me do something I would ordinarily avoid. I made the change impossible to ignore. I said the thing I was most afraid to say: I want to make new friends.
Vulnerability hang over alert!!
Since coming back to the UK, so many incredible people have reached out to me to say hi and find out what I’m up to. I’ve had emails, messages and voice-notes from the incredible women I met on that retreat, including the guest speakers.
And in May, I’m taking action on my new goal and I’m going to an event in New York to meet more incredible new people and hang out with my new pal Lilia (the salsa dancing, Russian, subconscious belief coach – a total transformation badass!).
Thank you Jen for sharing your story and for being so generous in the ideas and insights you shared with us!
Here’s to new friends all over the world!
P.s. Jen host’s The world’s premier PR event connecting entrepreneurs to each other and the media. This is what I’m going to in May! If any of you are looking to connect with people on the deeper level…and grow your business by building incredible relationships with fellow entrepreneurs and the media, you might want to check this out! Maybe I’ll see you there!
P.p.s thank you so much to Micah Archibald (Micah Archibald #pumpchick) for that INCREDIBLE morning yoga session! What a way to start the day. If you’re ever in LA, look up her classes and GOooooo. She was amazing!!!! https://www.facebook.com/pumpchick/