Powerful coaching question

[2] The most powerful question you can ask yourself in every moment

The most powerful question you can ask yourself in every moment

In every moment and in every situation there is one simple question you can ask that will dramatically change what you do and what you get in life. That question is: ‘What is my intention?’.

So what is your intention in life?

How to do you intend to spend today?

What is your intention for this moment?

Take a moment now and ask those questions of yourself…

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This is one of my ‘go to’ questions for myself and for my clients. From what I’ve seen and experienced, I can testify that it’s all too easy to get swept up in the flow of life. You say yes to one thing and then you agree to something else. Nothing big, just lots of small, little favours. Then you say yes to that event in a months’ time and you RSVP to a wedding abroad in two years’ time – “It’s ages away!”, you say, “I’ll have more time [and money!] when it comes around!”.

The funniest examples, I find, are when people ring me and say “Lisa, we’ve been invited to feature in a magazine! It will only cost £1500 and they write the article, take our photos and publish it in three magazines with a readship of 100,000. What do you think?”.

I always reply with “Okay, if I gave you £1500 right now for your marketing, how would you spend it?” They never say “Well, I’d contact a magazine and ask them to write an article!”. We have a little laugh and they decline the special offer. So it applies to more than life – it’s an important question to focus how to spend your time, energy and money in business too. And I only know this because I’ve been guilty of a few ‘opportunistic spends’ myself, including one £8,000 event that I would never have searched out. It just came up and I wasn’t clear enough on my intentions so I went with it!

You might be laughing reading this, perhaps your recognising a few patterns in your own life and business too?

Often, we say yes because it’s easier than saying no – “yup, yup, I’ll come!” – or because we haven’t made the time to plan things out for ourselves  – “oh perfect, just the ticket!” and before you know it, everything compounds, your diary is full and you’re running around like a headless chicken trying to fit it all in but moving no further forward. Worse, you’re then find yourself staying up late, working all hours and putting off the gym and coffee with good friends because ‘you’re so busy’.

No, no, no ladies and gentlemen. Let’s just hold on a second!

Ask:

What is your intention in life?

How to do you intend to spend today?

What is your intention for this moment?

When we take a moment to pause, take a deep breath and ask those questions, a whole world of perspective returns and not only do we feel calmer, but we wonder how on earth we got here in the first place! With two paper diaries, a calendar on the fridge and a phone and laptop calendar that don’t sync! Erm, no thank you!

It’s time to end the madness. It’s time to reprioritise! And I don’t just mean making sure you can fit the laundry in (all four loads) and get the food shop done. No.

I’m talking about making a date with the future version of you. Creating room for your dreams. Giving yourself space to enjoy the present moment so you can create something truly magical in your life.

Marie Forleo recently said in a video that everything we’re doing today is an appointment we made at some point in the past. That idea really hit me. I thought about my life when I heard that phrase and so much of what I was doing at the time, I did not enjoy. But I did accept that I had agreed to it all at some point in the past. I took comfort from that: if I put myself here, I can put myself somewhere else! Right?

And then came the tricky bit – learning to say no, ending certain projects, removing some events from my calendar. My intention wasn’t to fill it up with stuff for me; it was just to create space: space to think, space to hang out, space to finally feel ‘bored’.

It wasn’t easy but I’d say that it was a really important part of my journey. I’d even go as far as saying ‘it was the making of me’. Calling people to end projects or turning down opportunities was very difficult and very uncomfortable but I knew ‘the future version of me’ would say thank you.

I also knew that if I could honour my preferences and be true, then I’d be able to do more of what I love, live a life more aligned to my purpose and actually do more good in the world. All I had to do was make room.

I didn’t get it right every time and I still don’t. Even now I say yes to some things in the moment and then realise on reflection it was the wrong decision. But I’m getting quicker and quicker at saying “I’m really sorry but this isn’t right for me” before it goes any further.

You see, every time we say yes to a project or a date or an appointment or a task it either (1) brings us closer into alignment with who we are and what we’re here to do or (2) it pulls us further away.

It’s like that old phrase ‘set goals or work for someone who has goals’. Well. Guess what. I’ve got me some goals now. More than goals: I have intentions in life and every time a new request, question, invite or opportunity comes up, I pause and ask ‘what is my intention and does this help bring me into alignment with it or not?’. And then I answer.

This is a spiritual exercise. It will require growth, discomfort and even a little pain short term but it opens you for something far more magical: the life you always wanted.

And so, let me ask you again:

So what is your intention in life?

How to do you intend to spend today?

What is your intention for this moment?

Take a moment now and ask those questions of yourself…

Lisa x x